Damn…it looks like December is shaping up to be another low post month. And honestly, there are a number of factors which are contributing to my overall dour mood:

SCHOOL School actually didn't suck for a change this month, but I did have to work my ass off to get my final project done. It's not that I completely procrastinated in getting it done, but working in a last-minute change from the professor means I had to put in more time for it that I originally planned. The final exam took all of four hours to complete. I'm just glad for it to be over so I can have some free time back. Classes start back on January 5, so I've got two weeks to recoup from school and think about what my next classes will be.

WORK Let's see…since my last entry, I've been pretty much working 10- to 12-hour days as well as taking home almost 55 hours of work on the weekend. Coupled with school, I've basically been a zombie these past few weeks. Falling asleep at my desk, falling asleep in meetings…last week, I fell asleep standing up at the urinal taking a piss. Ain't that some shit? Someone had to touch me on the shoulder because I was just standing there, limp dick in hand, catching a few Z's.

I should've used a stall.

FAMILY As I said earlier, Death to Shakespeare and Ma'dea got together and decided that so long as I was still playing for the pink team, I could forget coming home for the holidays. And while home, location-wise, is a depressing place that I don't exactly cherish going to every year, being pretty much cut out of the family portrait on account of a little homosexuality still stings. Around this time of year, I can understand now why people keep their sexuality to themselves — sometimes, it's just easier to keep the status quo. If it's any consolation to them, though, Smokedawg will probably call collect from jail, and Karsh Jr. will probably be contending with some baby mama drama with his little fast-tailed girlfriend and they'll have none of their children or grandchildren to come home.

Ain't life grand?

RELATIONSHIPS Well on the bounceback from those debacles in November, I kinda played December cool. There were a couple of guys that I had a jones for, but they all kinda ruled themselves out. One guy gave me his phone number, but didn't want me to call it. Another guy gave me his number, but felt that if I called, he shouldn't have to answer it. The spectre of me being "too nice" reared its ugly ahead again also, because being friendly obviously means you have to act like a bastard and not someone interested in a friendship. And further still, there are those whom I've either met online or in public where the conversation is all good until they say something to or about me that's completely offensive and I'm just through. I think I've pretty much reached my limit when it comes to all this though. Part of me wants to just wait and see if someone will come to me, but I don't want to wait until I'm old and grey. If I see someone I like, I go after them. Perhaps that's the damn problem.

But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I hate this time of year, but usually, right after Christmas, things start looking a little better. That means it's time to look at the year past and start to plan for 2007. Can you believe it's almost 2007? Damn, time flies.

Well I'm going to go pour some eggnog and get in some Wii (while I still feel like it).

Happy Holidays!

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