Photo courtesy of psd The Sherlock Holmes Guide to Recovering Your Stolen Identity
Article by Zen Habits contributor Jonathan Mead.
As technology rapidly increases and the information age expands, our identities are at an increasing risk for being stolen. But it’s not a hacker trying to steal your social security number that should be causing you to lose sleep. It’s the ownership of your mind that’s at stake.
Most of us work at boring jobs, doing the same thing day in and day out. We’re trying to liberate ourselves from these dead-end pursuits (that’s why you’re here right?) but it’s not always easy.
The answer society has given us is to buy more things:
- Buy this Porsche and you’ll feel like a movie star.
- Buy this Swiffer Sweeper and all your problems will be solved!
- Buy this flat screen TV so you can distract yourself from the fact that you really don’t like what you do for a living.
The answer we’re given is not a change of attitude or perspective, but a product. What they’re really saying is: “If you have this thing you’ll finally live up to the image of who you think you should be, or rather, who we think you should be.”
This might sound a bit extreme. Most of us can’t imagine that we’re living a lie and that stuff is ruling our lives. That’s only because we’ve been so brilliantly duped.
I, personally, have defined myself by my stuff. Who hasn’t? I’ve thought that as soon as I get this car, this job, these clothes and this image, I’ll finally be somebody. But as soon as I get that stuff, as soon as I feel that my image is complete, I’m on to the next thing. I need an upgrade. I’m in search of the next thing to make me feel better.
The battle for your authenticity is not an easy one, but there are some things you can do to get started on the road to recovering your stolen identity.
So, you want to recover your stolen mind? I’ve enlisted the help of Master Detective Sherlock Holmes to help guide us on our search.
1. Accept that your identity is in jeopardy.
“You do occasionally find a carrion crow among the eagles.” - Sherlock Holmes
The first step on the path to recovering your true self is accepting that your identity is in jeopardy. You may be living a lie. That doesn’t mean that your whole life has been a fraud (see: how to not sell out). This isn’t black and white. There will probably be a lot of grey area in between. The first step is to realize that the socially acceptable path to success may not be your path. Compromise is okay, but not at the expense of your soul. A partially free mind is just not acceptable.
2. Authenticity isn’t easy.
“It was easier to know it than to explain why I know it. If you were asked to prove that two and two made four, you might find some difficulty, and yet you are quite sure of the fact.” - Sherlock Holmes
The battle for your authenticity can be an ugly one. Your ego might get hurt in the process. It probably won’t feel very good if you own up to the fact that you’ve been lying to yourself for a while about who you really are or want to be. The fact is, authenticity isn’t easy. But it’s worth it.
3. Find the thief.
“We are spies in an enemy’s country.“ - Sherlock Holmes
Do some digging around. Put on your detective cap and start looking for clues. Sometimes the culprit will have left obvious tracks and his work will be downright clumsy. This is usually obvious when there’s strong emotional resistance. Maybe you don’t want to be lawyer, but you’re pushing yourself through law school because you’ve always been told you are really good at making arguments. This is a sure sign your authenticity has been broken.
4. Be weary of the stealthy crook.
“These are much deeper waters than I had thought.” - Sherlock Holmes
There will be times where your compromised identity is not seen in plain sight. It will take some serious work to uncover the genesis of this offense. Perhaps you’re trying to read a lot of “hip” books to make yourself seem cool. You really don’t care for the words on these pages, you just want them on your bookshelf to show off when friends come over. Maybe you don’t really care for wine, but you drink it any way because all your friends do too. You don’t want to be left out, right? Be weary of the times when it seems like a small compromise isn’t much. A small lie to yourself is like a little tumor in your authenticity. Unless you remove it before it’s too late, it can easily grow out of control.
5. Follow the clues back to the source.
“When once your point of view is changed, the very thing which was so damning becomes a clue to the truth.” - Sherlock Holmes
Once you’ve discovered the scene of the crime, you have to trace the steps back to the source of the problem. You have to start thinking about a motive. What caused your authenticity to be compromised? Were you trying to live up to an image of perfection in your mind? Were you afraid of not fitting in because you were an outcast in high school? It’s time to face up to the facts.
6. Start over.
“For once you have fallen low. Let us see in the future how high you can rise.” - Sherlock Holmes
Now that you’ve uncovered the culprit and found the source of your problem, it’s time to press the reset button. Forgive yourself for not being perfect. Realize that it’s okay to not be as cool as you think you are. Choose freedom over living up to some kind of lifestyle. Choose acceptance over chasing some idea of what other people think you should be. If other people don’t accept that, maybe it’s time to say so long to them.
7. Protect yourself.
“One drawback of an active mind is that one can always conceive alternate explanations which would make our scent a false one.” - Sherlock Holmes
The final step to recovering your authenticity is to protect yourself from it happening again in the future. This might mean making a pact to be true to yourself, before anything else. It might mean that you cut down on media consumption. You stop watching TV and reading magazines (or at least do so selectively). You stop listening to people tell you what they think you should be.
There will obviously be times when we do things to fit in. We’ll probably act differently around our mother then we would around our drinking buddies. That’s okay.
In order to protect your identity from being stolen, stop chasing some idea of what you think you should be, but you’re not.
This article was written by Zen Habits contributor Jonathan Mead of the Illuminated Mind blog. For more ways to reclaim ownership of your mind subscribe to Illuminated MInd today.
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- Posted on 9 October 2008 in Simplicity |
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Comments (54)
Eric Hamm Says:
October 9th, 2008, 21:05 pm
I love the way you brought Sherlock Holmes into this post!
There’s no doubt that our minds our constantly being attacked by the strong influences and temptations around us. I agree that authenticity isn’t easy, but completely worth it. Being transparent, just laying your heart and mind for all to see, is a worthy goal to pursue.
banji - Lesson In Life Says:
October 9th, 2008, 21:17 pm
Now that’s a positive way to look at Sherlock Holmes detective work. Inspiring.
I supposed one of the reasons we live our life according to other’s standard is because we really don’t like spending our time cracking our head defining our life.
Society define success as being a graduate from a college, and have a car, a job, a house, a marriage, some children. The list seems to be the grand guideline for everyone in the world. And we are tempted to try to fulfil this list just because we don’t want to come up with one designed specifically for us. Maybe we don’t really need a car, or a house.
My point is - coming up with a uniquely designed list is relatively harder than just following the grand design. That is why almost everyone will start to take the easy way and just follow what the grand guideline had listed.
Sid Savara Says:
October 9th, 2008, 21:26 pm
Nice article Jonathan
I remember recently reading an article that looked at the link between self esteem and materialism. If I remember correctly, more materialistic people had lower self esteem.
I think this ties in with your discussion about how society is constantly trying to define us by our “stuff.” Of course our self esteem will drop if we try and define ourselves by what we own: it’s not real, it’s not who we are, and we’ll always feel like we don’t have enough things.
Bryan Esposito Says:
October 9th, 2008, 22:34 pm
Good post
Shamelle -TheEnhanceLife Says:
October 9th, 2008, 23:02 pm
Very creative Jonathan.
There are so many lessons to take from this post that it is worth reading many times.
Usman Says:
October 9th, 2008, 23:09 pm
I agree. Accepting a problem is the first and most important step in order to solve it.
Daniel Richard Says:
October 9th, 2008, 23:33 pm
Great post there Jonathan! You’ve made Sherlock Holmes solve the mystery to our lost identities. :)
Maya Says:
October 10th, 2008, 0:36 am
Creatively written post! I am almost afraid that Sherlock Holmes might take away from the profound message you are putting across …
Yes, the answer society has given us is to buy more things. On the flip side, I think the virtual world balances everything else that is thrown to us (commercials and such). We have the ability to choose our identities, associate in communities and talk about things that matter to us.
Sara at On Simplicity Says:
October 10th, 2008, 1:14 am
This was a charming approach! The hardest step, I imagine, is realizing that we’ve been suckered into some things and then trying to figure out what’s real and what’s fake. Like you mentioned, it’s okay not to be cool. At some point, I realized that I’d rather drink box wine and jam to oldies than sip microbrews and discuss indie bands. Uncool, but okay with me.
Eugene (Editor, Varsity Blah) Says:
October 10th, 2008, 1:19 am
This tendency to “follow the crowd” was made quite clear in a quote I came across while reading Liar’s Poker , a fascinating look into the darker side of investment banking. It reads:
“Everyone wants to be [a contrarian investor], but no one is, for the sad reason that most investors are scared of looking foolish. Investors do not fear losing money as much as they fear solitude, by which I mean taking risks that others avoid. When they are losing money alone, they have no excuse for their mistake; and most investors, like most people, need excuses. They are, strangely enough, happy to stand on the edge of precipice as long as they are joined by a few thousand others.”
We need to stand up for ourselves and the things we believe in most, even if it means being unpopular. We need to stop accepting things at face value and start questioning the status quo, even if it means being criticized. We need to be comfortable enough with who we are so that we can constantly push our boundaries and challenge old ways of thinking. It’s the only way we can set our own standards, make our own mistakes, and live our own lives. It’s the only our lives will be worth living in the first place. It’s the only way we can make a real difference.
Mike King Says:
October 10th, 2008, 2:34 am
Great creative article Jonathan. I love the idea that everything around us tries to steal our identity. People have grown on the fear that people will try to steal our identity, but don’t then realize our own actions and desires are already doing that. hmm, more to ponder on that one!
Mike King Says:
October 10th, 2008, 2:36 am
Maya, just read your comment as well and yes, people do have ways to more easily create their own (sometimes) secret identities now as well. I’d say that happens very infrequently in comparison to those just having it stolen from around them. Interesting perspectives on this…
J.D. Meier Says:
October 10th, 2008, 4:29 am
I think a good self-test is “Are you doing what you do because you want to? … or are you simply living to other people’s expectations?”
Finding your real answer for “why do you do what you do?” can be very revealing about who you really are and what you’re about.
Barbara Ling Says:
October 10th, 2008, 4:40 am
Excellent article! Your point:
You stop listening to people tell you what *they* think you should be.
is so true - one should always sing their own song.
Data points, Barbara
Sam Says:
October 10th, 2008, 7:56 am
Another excellent post, Leo!
Tabitha (From Single to Married) Says:
October 10th, 2008, 8:08 am
I completely agree - how many times have I tried to define myself by the things I own! This is a good reminder to identify myself through more substantial means.
Zen Guru Says:
October 10th, 2008, 8:48 am
Another nice post, Leo… but we readers expect more from you. But still I like the way you brought Sherlock homes in it. We expect more different posts like this, also try to provide more content in your posts.
Jeff Jones Says:
October 10th, 2008, 9:30 am
Jonathan,
It’s unfortunate but an entire segment of our economy revolves around buying things to change your identity. Some products would never sell one unit if the person buying it didn’t think it would change their life in some way.
Jeff
Dave Says:
October 10th, 2008, 10:25 am
Kudos.
Leanne Magraith | Forever Change Says:
October 10th, 2008, 10:32 am
He/She who dies with the most toys wins.
Of course Sherlock Holmes could see through this, however society at large still plays this game though.
How sad because collecting things means there is much less time spent on more important things in life.
Shanel Yang Says:
October 10th, 2008, 10:51 am
“I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can’t find anybody who can tell me what they want.” - Mark Twain
I found this and 299 other great quotes about identity and gathered them up for “300 Identity Posts” at http://shanelyang.com/2008/10/10/300-identity-quotes/
To some, identity is a slippery eel. To others, it’s as solid as a rock. : )
Ezekiel Fish Says:
October 10th, 2008, 11:24 am
Leo, I like your article! Very good writing.
Your point is a good one, Leo: BE YOURSELF!
I will! :)
John Rocheleau - Zen-Moments Says:
October 10th, 2008, 12:02 pm
My Wife and I live very simply, but we feel rich. We have learned to value the basics, within ourselves, and in the world around us.
We have had our turn at identifying with our possessions or using them to self-medicate. Now we only accumulate the timeless and the true; beautiful experiences in nature, friendship, family, and inner explorations of spirit.
We feel far wealthier and truer to our natures now than when we tried to purchase a life.
Best,
John
Jim Says:
October 10th, 2008, 12:31 pm
Great post. I think, however, you meant “wary” instead of “weary” on these two occasions:
“4. Be weary of the stealthy crook.”
“Be weary of the times when it seems like a small compromise isn’t much.”
Jonathan Mead Says:
October 10th, 2008, 12:32 pm
@ Jim: Yep, I did mean wary. For some reason I always confuse those two words.
@ Everyone: Thanks for your feedback. I was trying to approach this topic from an interesting angle. =)
michael Says:
October 10th, 2008, 12:43 pm
I’m not so certain anyone is stealing our identity or our self-definition. I think we’re all culpable at one point or another of abandoning it, or giving it away. Pleading that others take it from us and give us something else…
People in desperation find it’s easier to buy one than it is to build your own. The whole thing is more like a trap or a con than a theft.
B. Wilde Says:
October 10th, 2008, 14:55 pm
We get hit from every angle with messages telling us what we should be, how we should look, what we should own, etc. I understand that body image pressures are starting arise for more boys and men than in years past. It’s unfortunate for both genders that this goes on. I love the concept of authenticity. You’ve got to dance to the beat of your own drum. Your message is so applicable to adults, but it’s also something my wife and I are trying to teach our children. Thanks.
Homemaker Barbi (Danelle Ice) Says:
October 10th, 2008, 17:16 pm
@ Banji:
I couldn’t agree with you more. Similar to the mechanics of crowds and how patterns form in nature, it is often easier to follow a path that is already there. We can get so caught up in following society’s path of what is the “right course of action” that we end up working hard to go somewhere we may not even really want to be!
@Jonathan:
Brilliant, as always. My husband saw a bumper sticker yesterday that said, “Life is not for discovering yourself, it’s for creating yourself.” As you say, authenticity takes effort, but doing the work to design your own identity is definitely worthwhile in the long run.
Homemaker Barbi (Danelle Ice)
Jin Says:
October 10th, 2008, 17:50 pm
Any post with Sherlock Holmes in it is a good post imo!
btw, I just can’t picture Jude Law as Watson..
Kim McGinnis Says:
October 10th, 2008, 18:34 pm
Jonathan,
Your post is honest and revealing, and it definitely struck a cord with me. As much as I long to free myself from material attachments, I still desire them.
But, at the same time, I know I have grown. I now am much more aware of the value of time than I used to be, therefore I have experienced a priority shift.
As Timothy Ferriss of the 4 Hour Work Week professes, “There are really 3 commodities in life these days: time, income and mobility.”
I love the idea of freedom more than money. Although I sure would hate to give up my iphone…
Success is measured in small steps, and I am enjoying the journey.
Kim McGinnis Says:
October 10th, 2008, 18:39 pm
Hi Jonathan,
I left the previous comment, but I input my url in incorrectly.
This is an example of me clinging to the material. I would like readers to reach me if they so desired, and I used up my precious time to make sure they could.
This whole non-attachment thing is easy to intellectualize than to practice in this very material world we live.
Thank you for your indulgence.
Anand Dhillon Says:
October 10th, 2008, 22:50 pm
I love your use of quotes, Jonathan. Great work!
It’s interesting how our culture teaches us to look for everything outside of ourselves - happiness, love, a sense of self. The truth is the things that we want most in life start from the inside.
The challenges with living a more real life come in many stages. I think you’ve done a good job outlining them. For me, the most difficult parts are having the the self-awareness to notice when I’m doing what I “should” do or what “they” want me to do and summoning the strength and courage to act on that self-awareness.
banji - Lesson In Life Says:
October 11th, 2008, 1:24 am
@Danelle Ice - I like the phrase working hard to go somewhere we may not even really want to be. It actually make me pause for a few seconds thinking about it :)
Blue Raincoat Says:
October 11th, 2008, 6:19 am
I always indulge in reading good pieces on authenticity. I just can’t help it :) You can’t be free or at least feel free if you don’t live your own life.
And it’s about simplicity too - just living by yourself and that’s it.
But, as said, finding what you really are is not that easy. The only hope is you can find the process truly fascinating (like a detective work!), when you put your whole self on this. The more it is interplay between what was already there but somehow was stolen and what you just create (the latter still can be thought as rooted in what was already there though).
And it is not about materialism only, it’s about many other -isms either. For example about snobism - and not even about in its most obvoius form but something like: “feel all those great feelings, think all those great thigns”. When you’d rather watch a good piece of craft instead of Bergman. It may be good to challenge yourself with Bergman from time to time of course - it’s generally a good thing to be open to new experiences - but stay feel just what you feel and think just what you think.
But honestly, can you ever be wholly authentic - you get socialized, your inhale the world from around you all the time and from the moment of your birth. Where would you have to go down to to find it - genetics?! So, it’s more about a choice. Wanna be a detective? Or prefer to plump in front of your tv and don’t worry about it at all…
peter mckenna Says:
October 11th, 2008, 6:21 am
I have not contributed before but have read and enjoyed the site and its contributers very much. This is a good and creative article.
We should however be careful not to allow the search for individual authenticity to become indulgent selfishness. I do not want to swap individualist materialism for individualistic spiritualism. The majority of our species enjoys cooperating with others and it is not wrong to consider others when deciding how best to live.
Michael Moniz Says:
October 11th, 2008, 8:52 am
Great post!!
Some many of us are not true to ourselves and that is where our strengths are.
I notice all the time on people’s blogs they go for being smart, wise or so full of wisdom but we look through that. We want to see people being themselves. That is what teaches us the best life lessons.
We want people who walk the talk and truly are themselves and share their own experiences. We believe in them.
Ashvin Menon Says:
October 11th, 2008, 10:03 am
Beautifully written :)
And yes, some very good advice as well. Personally I find the concept of chasing material wealth quite exhilarating, but I think this post will help a lot of people who don’t quite know how to search within themselves. Put on your detective caps, folks!
zawadi Says:
October 11th, 2008, 10:36 am
Great Blog.. I linked your blog to mine.. I need to work hard at getting more writing done though.
Jonathan Mead Says:
October 11th, 2008, 15:35 pm
@peter: I think it’s absolutely important that we consider others in our actions as well. It doesn’t make sense for us to become an individualistic automaton. Or to become a hermit for the sake of “authenticity.”
@ Anand: I think it’s something you have to constantly strive for. I find just paying attention to my natural rhythms helps a lot. Just asking myself “is this what I really want?”
Alex Scott Says:
October 11th, 2008, 18:09 pm
A post on my recent adventures in dealing with this very issue.
http://intuitivefog.blogspot.com/2008/10/open-letter-volume-2.html
Alex Scott Says:
October 11th, 2008, 18:12 pm
haha…should’ve read the post first. It’s not about your information getting stolen!! Still a good post, though.
Liara Covert Says:
October 11th, 2008, 22:11 pm
Sherlock Holms is a very inspirational, fictional character. many of his character traits are admirable, and this post reminds readers they can tap into simialr traits within themselves. We are each our own personal detectives.
rrr Says:
October 11th, 2008, 23:49 pm
It’s hard to think outside of the box when all you see is the box.
Most humans run in monkey-see monkey-do mode so it seems very normal to have the same goals and desires as everyone else. It also takes a lot of courage to be different as it attracts a lot of attention.
I appreciate articles like this for helpng to open people up to different options.
Cale Sweeney Says:
October 12th, 2008, 11:57 am
Good article. Now I am deleteing you from my RSS feed so you can stop turning me into eastern hippy…cause I am not one.
WD Favour Says:
October 12th, 2008, 14:07 pm
This is bold! This is really bold.
In a world that is doing all it can to make you like everybody else (which by the way is the true conspiracy theory!) it tales a lot of courage, and I mean lots of it, to be nothing but you.
Confident Nerd Says:
October 12th, 2008, 19:40 pm
Good Read.
People have this belief that if only they can get this or they can get that, then they will be “HAPPY”. The problem is that there is no such place “Perfect Happiness”. This is why you have to learn to find happiness in the the journey to wherever you are headed.
The pursuit of happiness!!!
shann Says:
October 12th, 2008, 19:58 pm
Great post Jonathan.
Happiness is all about uncovering our true identity and being REAL.
To be nobody but yourself - In a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you like everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight - and never stop fighting. E.E. Cummings
Shann
Rahul Says:
October 12th, 2008, 22:56 pm
Sherlock Holmes is one of my favorite fictional characters. I like the way he has been introduced here in this article. Sounds very much practical.
P.G. Smith Says:
October 13th, 2008, 11:58 am
Some zen buddhists would argue that the idea of an enduring identity is an illusion anyway. Certainly the identity that comes from a job, social status, material goods and whatnot is an illusion, for who do such people become when all those things are lost. Perhaps we should ask ourselves the question “Who am I when I have nothing?” At that point I think it comes down to the quality of our characters and the choices we make. Are you honest? Are you kind? Generous? or fearful, selfish and mean? Perhaps spending time alone can help some find who they are when there is nobody around expecting anything from them.
Mostly Unknown Says:
October 13th, 2008, 20:10 pm
For a long time I have been a fan of Spartans philosophy: “don’t waste word”, so I will put it as simply as I can:
This is what I call: a LIFE CHANGER.
Thank you
Spindrift Says:
October 14th, 2008, 5:02 am
I’m not going to disagree that cutting down on media consumption is a good thing. But I did get an epiphany about how exactly I wasn’t being true to myself from watching House MD. I think the programs that you choose to watch as well as the way you watch them counts for a lot. Love the article, it’s nice to be reassured that being more true to myself isn’t a selfish pursuit.
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