I was going to make this into a blogcast, but I fired up Audacity, sat down to start speaking…and didn't want to do so. Eh, it happens, I guess.

Where were we? Oh yes — work.

In a surprising turn of events, most of the events of the last post have all but disappeared. The whole leaving-in-six-months rumor? Squashed. Director of design position with the hottie from the startup? Folded. Senior webmaster position with the non-profit? Still open, but I got some signs it would not be a good move. On top of these things, I've actually started getting recognized for my design work at Big Company, Inc., including a huge testimonial from a customer that actually started crying upon viewing the site. It's nice to be recognized, particularly at a place that prides itself on not recognizing talent.

But you know how it goes — when one thing evens out, something else becomes a little off kilter. In this case, it would be…the luuuuuuuuuv life.

Granted, I am not in an all-fire rush to get into another relationship, but here's the thing: after Opportunity, it took me a while to get to a point where I was mostly fine with being single. Sure, there would be moments where I'd want someone around, but on the whole, I was OK with it. And now, after three months of being in a great relationship, getting dumped, then spending two months getting over it (we're "friends" now, even though most of our conversations end in arguments), I find myself back in the dreaded position of trying to date in Atlanta. (By corollary, this could extend to any major metropolitan area, and I'm sure Atlanta's faults are present everywhere.)

Warning: There are links to some very NSFW images after this point, and I'm not responsible for whatever trauma (whether momentary or permanent) results from viewing these, be it vomiting, expulsion of whatever you're drinking all over your monitor, or screaming like a schoolgirl. Again, you've been warned.

Pickins here are more than slim — they're skeletal. For single Black gay men in the city, there's not a lot of options if you want to date. And by date, I mean going out and doing an activity and then parting ways at the end of the night without dropping trou. Aside from my meeting with Gaara, my last date was back in September of last year with Killian's Red, whom I met from Match.com. So I thought about turning back to a few internet dating sites to meet people for casual dating — you know, just to get my feet wet should I decide to jump back into a relationship. Like I read today over at Broken Cupid, Atlanta is desperately lacking any kind of environment that's encouraging to single gay men to meet each other. Sure, there a few private things people put together, but those are mostly kept private, or "invite only", so a lot of people don't even find out about them. The author also mentioned a lack of speed dating options for gay men; those of you who have followed this blog from day 1 might remember my foray into it almost five years ago.

Great, now I feel old.

Moving on. I heard about MyPartner.com a few months ago and created a profile recently in the hopes of meeting a few good men. Unlike Match.com, MyPartner.com is created for gay men and by gay men. It's not like Manhunt or Men4Now or Adam4Adam, which is refreshing to see considering most other personals sites for gay men are full of dick and ass shots. And I really had hopes that MyPartner.com would be different.

It wasn't.

Most people who replied to me could barely construct a complete sentence, something which I find to be a huge turn-off. Call me stuck-up, but if you can't even adequately communicate yourself using your native tongue — and you're not a moron or functionally retarded — then I'm probably not going to be interested. And I make no qualms about that either. Fuck that whole "oh well they may not be able to chat online" — the kid ain't buying it. Word has spellcheck, bitches…use it.

First of was Jumpsuit, a 35-year-old customer service rep who, well, was wearing a jumpsuit in his profile picture. We exchanged initial greetings…and it went downhill from there.

sorry so late just got…lookin for fellow….lol…..u got a pic????

Umm…there's several pictures on my profile. What exactly did you like from my ad? "lookin for fellow…lol", while succinct, isn't exactly very descriptive.

the concept of you lookin for some one descriptivily like yourself…as to say(one of my brotheren)……i fellow the path of the el..men ..page…

…what?

Needless to say, Jumpsuit never jumped off. Moving on.

Next up was Zealous, a 23-year-old…well, I'll just let you read all about him.

Hi man Im Zealous and I am 23 and will be starting my MA in History in August i will be moving to Atlanta as soon as I can find a job 6 feet 220 brown hair and blue eyes i love black guys and have never been in a relationship with anyone who wasn't black i grew up in Ellenwood and was the only white guy in my neighborhood so I used to be the one the dl guys all wanted because they thought I was exotic I guess lol! I am very experienced in sex but also very open to finding a sweet boyfriend who wants a relationship i love dominant and agressive guys but also respect intelligence outside the bedroom i am sending youa nasty lil photo to entice you for more hit me up if you like my number is 404-xxx-xxxx i would love to get to know you and see you when i come back to town maybe we could even be roomies?

Hell to the naw.

Some of the people who responded…I couldn't get past the pictures they sent me which differed greatly from what was on their profile.

This guy has back hair you could braid.

This one affectionately called himself "pig bottom" (which also included a picture of him fisting himself, not included here thankfully).

This Negro had some long ass nails on his left hand for no damn reason.

And this muthafucka here….no words.

After three weeks, I cancelled my membership there. I can't say there's a whole lot of other options, but I've always got school and work to keep me busy. Plus, I have a much needed vacation coming up in June to NY which I am very excited about — I'll get to catch some great musical acts and spend some time with Twin and Triplet. I'm also contemplating a trip out to SF in July or August for a weekend, but that's not set in stone just yet. In the meanwhile, I'll stay away from the gay dating sites and just try to make do.

Whatever that's like.

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