Renouncing my activism

May 20, 2008


Over Christmas break in 1996, I made a decision that would change my life. Or, if not my life, at least my lifestyle.

I stopped eating meat. Just like that. Boom. Cold turkey, if you’ll excuse the pun.

Now, twelve years later, I’m ready to go back.

When you look at it, I guess I’m just growing weary of vegetarianism. But after over a decade of meatlessness, how does a lapsing vegetarian quit?

I was once a fervent vegetarian. I was good at it, you could say, eschewing meat as if I had never eaten it. I began with a fire in my belly – I was going to show the world what I could do, how punk I could be, how different and socially responsible I could be.

I was a minor activist. It was all I had in the realm of punk culture. Sure, I was in a band and I listened to lots of Bad Religion, but I was a poseur in every sense of the word. After all, I washed my hair and liked my parents and refrained from getting tattoos of the Operation Ivy dancer. But being a vegetarian was my way of saying, “I’m different, and I care.”

My first test was at a fast food establishment. My second test was explaining why I was doing it. That second test has lasted since then.

Which leads me to today. I no longer have any reasons. I’m just plugging along, shunning meat because that’s just what I’ve always done. Because it’s who I am. Because it’s been so long, because I don’t want to explain it to everyone again.

The stage was set five years ago, on my honeymoon in New Orleans. Knowing our proximity, and trusting the advice of our parents, Kerrie (who has been a vegetarian for 12 years as well) and I toasted our newfound union by eating seafood – the first meat-stuff we had consumed since high school. It was tasty, and just like that we moved from strict vegetarians to vegetarians who happen to eat fish and seafood.

Looking back, that was probably the beginning of the end for me. I no longer feel a need to save every animal.

I’m ready to give it up. But after 12 years, I find myself scared to do it.

Will my stomach rise up in protest? Will people see me as a waffling who was never behind the cause in the first place? Will I pull what’s left of my hair out trying to explain that, yes, I eat meat now and, no, I don’t need you to congratulate me. (This must be what it feels like to switch political parties, or finally acknowledge a world-changing trend.)

What happens when you finally let go of an ideal that’s defined you for so long? And if I’m willing to give up being a vegetarian – if I’m willing to look nearly 12 years of contented (though passive and not exactly heartfelt) activism and bid it adieu – what does that say about my ability to continue

Is being a vegetarian part of my identity?

If so, why am I so anxious to throw it out?

Tags: Food, Vilhauer |

Comments

10 Responses to “Renouncing my activism”

  1. Gnorb on May 20th, 2008 644 pm

    Will my stomach rise up in protest?

    Maybe. Probably, with beef, at least at first.

    Recently, I’ve become a bit of a pesco-vegetarian, myself. Nothing to do with ethics, mind you (though I suppose it would be nice to inflate my feelings of self worth by reminding myself how much better a person I supposedly am than those who feast upon the flesh of helpless beasts), but because I simply decided it was healthier. For the most part, it’s been a major blessing: blood pressure’s that of a 10 year old, I rarely get heartburn anymore, and I’ve lost a healthy 26 lbs. Not bad.

    But just because you eat meat doesn’t mean you have to do it all the time. Think of it like a special treat once in a while. I think you may find that it’s freeing to give yourself the ability to eat meat and then deciding not to, not because of ethical concerns or the feeling that you have to, but simply because you choose to.

    And choice is generally a pretty wonderful thing. Unless your name’s Sophie.

  2. Mom on May 20th, 2008 821 pm

    Number One Son, From your mother who is 95% vegetarian, call me if you ever want to pick up a McDonald’s hamburger or eat “the other white meat”. The stories I could tell you….
    Remain vigilent, pass on the t-bone steak sizzling on the barbie, eat a small organic chicken breast if you have the urge to tear your canine teeth through something. But by all means..call me when you find yourself standing at Tea Steakhouse and your mouth is watering. I’ll talk you down from THAT ledge.
    Mom :)

  3. Corey Vilhauer on May 20th, 2008 845 pm

    Tea has a steakhouse?

    * calls and books a table for one *

  4. Edrei on May 21st, 2008 1225 am

    I’m a food person, which means that I am willing to try and eat anything and everything. Being Asian and adventurous as well means everything really means everything. Yet it also doesn’t mean I will stuff myself with horrible horrible junk food and and fast food.

    I guess what I’m saying is that in that transition between being a vegetarian and eating meat, it’s a matter of taste and what you’re willing to taste. It’s a matter of proportion and balance.

    I wouldn’t mind a heap of red meat every now and again, but most of the time a nice proper chicken salad or baked eggplant stuffed with mince makes for a good lunch or dinner.

    For the record, I would have gone vegetarian too if the recipes weren’t so dull. :)

  5. Angie J. on May 21st, 2008 1008 am

    We need to talk!!!! Do you think this is a new parent thing? Ever since Grant was born I’ve been questioning my vegetarianism but can’t quite bring myself to really do it! Is Kerrie considering this too? I’ve been vegetarian (no to meat or seafood, but yes to eggs and dairy) for almost 11 years and suddenly after I had Grant I’ve been reconsidering. I used to work with a girl who was a vegetarian until she had kids, then she switched. So - do you think it’s because you’re a dad?

    Also - your comment about “Is being a vegetarian part of my identity?” - this is the major issue for me. Being a vegetarian is really part of my identity and I keep feeling that if I take that one bite, I’ll lose a piece of me.

    P.S. - Yes, Tea does have a steakhouse and it’s really all about the steak. I’ve been there once and I’m pretty sure I had a salad and a baked potato (hold the bacon bits).

    P.P.S. - I’m pretty sure that Scott would marry me all over again if I started eating meat!!

  6. Corey Vilhauer on May 21st, 2008 1238 pm

    Kerrie will not be swayed. If I start eating meat, we will be cooking two dinners on the meat days.

    Maybe it IS a new parent thing. Maybe I’m secretly drawn to Sierra’s miniature jar of pureed beef baby food.

  7. eric on May 21st, 2008 422 pm

    when i started eating meat again i had exactly zero problems with my stomach. IT’S ALL COMMIE LIBERAL PROPAGANDA!
    also, steak is real good.

  8. KV on May 21st, 2008 659 pm

    Sierra will not be eating pureed beef. If she can’t chew it, she won’t be eating it. Considering her 1/4 tooth and 1/2 tooth, it may be a while. Cubed tofu it is for her. If she wants meat, she will have to put it in her mouth on her own.

  9. sara on May 21st, 2008 1056 pm

    Wohoo!! Corey’s going to eat meat! I can get you some buffalo, it’s good for you! Can we go to Culvers? I’ll make you REAL tater-tot-hot-dish! You can have a bacon wrapped scallop while Kerrie just gets the plain one. I’ll work on her, maybe I can guilt her into it (”I’m moving back to SF for you, the least you can do is eat a chicken tender!”)

  10. Will on May 22nd, 2008 1247 pm

    I never really understood the ethical angle. Human beings are not capable of photosynthesis. We must eat to live, and lettuce is as much alive as cow or chicken.

    That said, I think vegetarianism is clearly the more healthy option.

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