Letter To An Ex-Girlfriend: Bronwen // equivocality

Posted in: Random

I love you too much baby
For you to be with me
I love you too much baby
I gotta set you free

—Shea Seger, I Love You Too Much

You were the closest I’ve ever come to perfect in a girlfriend. In fact, you raised the bar. Now I know there are girls out there who are funny, intelligent, open-minded, caring, sane, and I’ll always be looking for the same now.

Making love to you was fun because you’re so damn cute. I loved to look into your eyes, though I wish you’d be able to keep yours open.

In so many ways, we worked. My love of dark chocolate and your love of milk chocolate meant that we’d never have a problem finishing off an assorted box. You’re so easy-going, while I’m so uptight. All the little things, like puzzle pieces made of clay.

Even though it’s been months since we’ve broken up, our video is still by far the most played item on my iTunes playlist. It’s such a beatiful memory, and I’ll always cherish it.

I still miss those notes you used to leave me about what you did during the day and when you’d be back. Those times we’d take the bus, and you’d rest your head on my shoulder. Those times we’d wrestle and fall asleep in a pile, right there, from exhaustion.

I miss all these things, but the fact is that it didn’t feel right, and it wouldn’t be fair to either of us to keep going. You deserve to be with someone better. Someone who will fully appreciate you and the things you do.

I know I never said it in our relationship, but I loved you.

And I still do.

The Letter To An Ex-Girlfriend series

10 comments — Follow the feed

#1 Erin

Oh dear, now you’ve gone and made me cry.

A beautiful letter. I hope she reads it someday.

#2 Xibee

Oh dear, you really never said it???
How much more you have to experience and enjoy…

You’ll be ready next time.
You know what to change now. The right person will make enough of a dent that you’ll just have to give in.

#3 Causalien

To be able to let go of that and let her fly. You must’ve transformed.

#4 Jeff

@Erin — Thank you.

@Xibee — It’s not that I’ve never said it before, and it’s not that I wasn’t ready this time. I decided to wait to see if it would last, so that they would mean more. The words are thrown around too much these days.

@Causalien — I’m not sure about that. I’ve certainly transformed, but I don’t think I have in this sense. Marrying the right person or not marrying at all has always been my way.

#5 Causalien

Letting go of something good was hard for me. The first time I’d done it, I had to transform. The old person wasn’t able to grasp what letting go is.

Maybe it’s different for you.

#6 Jeff

You made a decision to let go. Even if it was a good thing, there was an even better reason you give it up. That’s how I see it. Doesn’t mean it’s easy though.

#7 bronwen

I love you too! I feel like we were meant to meet and be friends forever.

#8 Maeko

I like this one.

Sometimes I feel this about my Lover. He will wake up one day and think I’m not right.

I am on the other side of the chasm.

Will he realise that I am not good enough? Too dramatic? Too selfish? Too immature? Too high-maintenance? Too uptight?

#9 Jeff

That’s an interesting idea. One of wonder, instead of insecurity. You have a feeling of the potential inevitable, yet you go on.

#10 shabs

my heart goes out 2 u. i`m in a committed relationship where there is more love than anything physical. we have bin dating 4 4 years and even we have ups and downs like any other couple we have communicate all the time. i know that there is somebody 4 evry1. i know jeff that there is a special person out there 4 u. i`m sorry i dnt know u at all but ur blog really touched me as i had that feeling wen i was single. the funny thing is that even if we (me and my other half) leave each other we`d b asking 4 forgiveness within minutes if not seconds coz we can`t live without each other. u were saying that there r a lot of people who only think about themselves in the world before other people, those people don`t have a heart. life goes on and we have to get on with our lives and help people wen they need it.