deeplyshallow // the last weekend

the last weekend

For the past couple of years life has been very different. It’s been about as unroutine as my life has ever been, and I’ve alternately loved it and loathed it. Working from home has always been a gift — and, on occasion, a curse. That all changes now. Last week I received and accepted a local web firm’s invitation to join its design crew, a decision that will restore a certain amount of routine — along with job and financial security — to my life. I expect for a little while I’ll feel a bit like a fish out of water. I also expect this to be a completely different experience from every one that has gone before; along with all of that security, it’ll be a momentous step forward for my design career. I’m looking forward to the new opportunity of helping to shape some national brands, something I’ve never had the chance to do before.

This is a holiday weekend, which has delayed my start date a bit, and I’ve found myself with almost nothing at all to do. I’ve taken the opportunity to catch up on some movies — I saw Superman Returns for the second time, along with X-Men III (a total misfire) and An Inconvenient Truth (as sobering and frightening as the hype suggested). Added a few more DVDs to the collection (in this case, ‘few’ can be defined as ‘fifteen or more’), reminding myself that my compulsive movie-buying is a sickness that is apparently untreatable. (You would think that my running out of available shelf space for my movie collection might have stemmed the tide, but it hasn’t. I’m completely out of control.) I read a couple of books, tried to catch up on sleep, temporarily broke the diet routine and still managed to drop my twentieth pound, and ordered a new MacBook.

To a certain degree I’m going to miss being self-employed. I’ve greatly enjoyed the flexibility of these past two years. Such an unstructured environment has made me a better and more focused designer; I’ve grown more, creatively-speaking, during this period than during the previous six or seven years of working for various agencies and firms. I’m a little apprehensive about returning to a more structured position, but I’ll get over it. Things change, you know. I’m looking forward to the challenge of holding my own among so many other more talented designers.

This actually couldn’t come at a better time. In a few months I’m getting married, and Susan and I have been a little concerned about our respective careers. She’ll be giving up a long-term position as an events manager for a university, and her next step remains unidentified. My accepting this offer will relieve the pressure she’s been feeling to make that next step quickly; now she can take her time and give it the proper thought. I also can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to having benefits again. (Almost as big a relief is the fact that I won’t have to pay self-employment taxes any longer.)

I won’t exactly be close enough to bike to work, which means my gasoline bill is going to climb significantly. But I won’t be five feet away from a pantry full of junk food all day long, which means that my waistline might shrink as significantly. I’ll miss the afternoon beach walks, though; I’ve grown very accustomed to those.

But more importantly, home is going to be home again. My couch will be just that: my couch. It won’t be my office any more. Coming home after that first day of work is going to be like a weight has lifted: for the first time in two years, work and life will be perforated instead of running together. The more I think about it, the nicer I think this part is going to be. Working for myself has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. Maybe one day I’ll do it again, but for the moment, it’s time to try something new.