http://fenxy.com/notes/ Fenxy Thread: Favourite Funny Quotes en Sat, 10 Jan 2009 04:16:00 +0000 http://fenxy.com/humor/notes/14570/p/1/#response-117001 Tue, 03 Jun 2008 11:50:49 Clarkey 117001 <p>Lady Astor: "If you were my husband, I'd put arsenic in your coffee." </p> <p>Sir Winston Churchill: "Madam, if I were your husband, I'd drink it!"</p> <p>______________________________</p> <p>Whilst skidding backwards down a snow covered Swiss mountain my son averted his gaze from the in car DVD, pulled out his earphone and said "Dad, can I have a sweet?"</p> <p>He's good like that. </p> http://fenxy.com/humor/notes/14570/p/1/#response-116953 Mon, 02 Jun 2008 17:58:53 Ozone42 116953 <p>Spoken to me, by someone who was probably not sober either: </p> <blockquote><p>Your inhibitions are getting drunker.</p></blockquote> <p>Same person, another time:</p> <blockquote><p>Christy: Stop talking and answer me!<br /> (five minutes pass)<br /> Christy: I can’t hear him because he’s making too much noise!</p></blockquote> <p><a href='http://www.makesitgood.net/category/quotes'>I have hundreds of these on my site</a>, though some you really had to be there for. </p> http://fenxy.com/humor/notes/14570/p/1/#response-116947 Mon, 02 Jun 2008 15:58:27 shadowsun7 116947 <p>"The children cookies you sold me taste nothing like children!" Witch to storekeeper. </p> http://fenxy.com/humor/notes/14570/p/1/#response-116944 Mon, 02 Jun 2008 15:15:47 ldragon 116944 <blockquote><p>I do like children. But I couldn't eat a whole one.</p></blockquote> http://fenxy.com/humor/notes/14570/p/1/#response-116851 Sat, 31 May 2008 10:28:31 publicenergy 116851 <p>Chief Wiggum<br /> <blockquote>They all come out at night. Or in this case, the day</p></blockquote> <p>And from The IT Crowd...</p> <p>Roy: 'If you were a mass murderer what would you call yourself?'<br /> Moss: 'I'd call myself The Gardener..and I'd leave a rose at the scene of every crime...'<br /> Roy: 'And what would your murder weapon be?'<br /> Moss: 'A Hammer...' </p> http://fenxy.com/humor/notes/14570/p/1/#response-116847 Sat, 31 May 2008 09:23:01 shadowsun7 116847 <blockquote><p>9 out of 10 women with breast implants can't even take themselves seriously.</p></blockquote> http://fenxy.com/humor/notes/14570/p/1/#response-116606 Wed, 28 May 2008 14:25:52 shadowsun7 116606 <p>It's a widget I have in Netvibes, called 'The Hella True Fact of The Day'.</p> <p>Here's one Mike would like: </p> <blockquote><p>Margins kill five million trees a year.</p></blockquote> http://fenxy.com/humor/notes/14570/p/1/#response-116599 Wed, 28 May 2008 13:10:26 Scrivs 116599 <p>Haha where are you getting these? </p> http://fenxy.com/humor/notes/14570/p/1/#response-116593 Wed, 28 May 2008 12:45:08 shadowsun7 116593 <blockquote><p>If a Nigerian king ever needs help laundering money from random Internet users, he'll have a terrible time proving he's for real.</p></blockquote> http://fenxy.com/humor/notes/14570/p/1/#response-116592 Wed, 28 May 2008 12:44:35 shadowsun7 116592 <blockquote><p>68% of Americans refuse to eat baby carrots because they feel too bad for the vegetables that barely had time to live.</p></blockquote> http://fenxy.com/humor/notes/14570/p/1/#response-116591 Wed, 28 May 2008 12:43:42 shadowsun7 116591 <blockquote><p>73% of successful suicide bombers are actually failed homicide bombers who didn't run as fast as they thought they could.</p></blockquote> http://fenxy.com/humor/notes/14570/p/1/#response-116590 Wed, 28 May 2008 12:42:35 shadowsun7 116590 <p>Post yours. No explanation needed.</p> <blockquote><p> 74% of Americans believe that if Saddam had ever met a gay man named Gomorrah, they would have gotten it on.</p></blockquote>