Chixe

Add some cinnamon and sultanas to the carrot cake and it will work out great. SImon is also lactose intolerant but he adds wheat into it just to make it really difficult. Carrot cake if you also add some orange juice into the mix can have a real nice moistness to it that means you don't even need icing. You can if you can get it use soya margarine with sugar to make a like butter icing, chuck in a bit or orange and lemon rind to that and you have a good substitute for butter icing.

I'd say the fact that you are making it and you can always add some flair with candles and something like a ribbon around it - that would make it even more special. To anyone on a restricted diet the very fact you are bothering to make and even find something they can eat - that means a heck of a lot.

First off, your poor boyfriend is unable to each chocolate? That sounds terrible!

Perhaps if you delve into a vegan recipe. I have a vegan friend who cooked a delicious totally vegan cake for a party last week.

I realized that all these vegan cakes would use soy milk. Wouldn't that be an acceptable replacement for cow milk? I don't know how easy it would be to find though...

Though here are two cakes that don't use any moo milk. :) Maybe it will spark an idea.

Amazing Coffee Cake

Mama's Twisted Orange Carrot Cake

Can't he eat some dark chocolate though? SImon can we are lucky there is some lactose intolerant dark chocolate where we are.

Also if he is milk-intolerant but can have cacao, try making some vegan-chocolate. instructions can be found here :
vegan-hot-chocolate

I know it's not very useful to eat, but you can mix it into your cake recipe or poor it over the cake when it's almost done baking, to give it a little more taste..

And everything goes goed with chocolate, bananas, apples....

No, he can't eat chocolate (he isn't just lactose intolerant... it's a whole host of things). I know, poor baby.

Karma, you're so right about effort meaning a lot. His whole life, people have misunderstood and even teased him for his food restrictions, so when I try and create things that he can eat, it's special (even if they suck!).

The problem with most vegan recipes (because I've looked into it) is that they have the Tofutti cream cheese or soy cream or soy yogurt, all of which are unavailable here.

Maybe you could try making a soy ice cream cake and just add some fancy things to it? :)

Wacky Cake is a good vegan approach to regular cake. I love the chocolate version, but here's another to try, from Cooks.com:

RICK'S APPLE AND WALNUT WACKY CAKE (plus substitution suggestions)
DRY INGREDIENTS:

1 1/2 c. whole wheat flour (or white, or half/half)
1 c. brown sugar, firmly packed (or half-white, half-brown)
1 tsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
1 med. apple, peeled, cored, grated (other option below)
1/4 c. walnuts, chopped (other option below)

LIQUID INGREDIENTS:

5 tbsp. peanut oil (or canola or safflower)
1 tbsp. apple cider vinegar (or regular white vinegar)
1 tsp. vanilla
Apple cider (see first step)

Add apple, grated to measuring cup, fill to 1 cup level with apple cider. Mix dry ingredients. Make 3 holes. Add oil, vanilla, then vinegar to each hole in turn. Begin mixing. Add walnuts. Now add the apple-apple cider mixture. Pour into greased, round cake pan. Bake at 350 degrees 40 to 50 minutes. Check with toothpick.

For a Banana and Pecan Wacky Cake, substitute 1 medium mashed banana for apple, 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg for cinnamon, 1/4 cup chopped pecans for walnuts, water for apple cider.

You can find a lemon version here -- but heed the comments on the right hand side of the page about making it more lemony.

Good luck!

That sounds great, daviddemchuk, and thank you all for your suggestions!