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9rules Changes Corporate Infrastructure, Aligns With Universe
Written by Scrivs on February 12, 2007
Last week we launched Ali and that wasn’t the only change that happened within 9rules. There have also been some structural changes that we would like to announce. Since all the cool and professional people are doing press releases we thought it would be best to announce these changes in a Press Release that can be read below.
9rules Changes Corporate Infrastructure
9rules has taken a deep look at its corporate infrastructure and decided that a revamp was needed to boost morale and the bottomline.
Tampa, FL, February 12, 2007 — 9rules, 9rules.com, the Quality Loves Company company, today announced a major restructuring of their board of directors today, and the department for redundancy department.
Community Director Tyme White has moved into the new position of Queen of the Universe. While having very little experience at being Queen of anything, White feels she can improve upon the way the Universe works and hopefully guide 9rules to new places.
“I’m excited about working with both 9rules and the Universe because we believe that without the Universe, there would be no 9rules,” said Tyme White, former Community Director. “The ability to meld the secrets of the Universe with 9rules instantly adds millions of potential new thingies to our Community, which benefits our Members and my.9r Users alike. Add to that what Advertiser wouldn’t love to put their name in front of an infinite number of space particles?”
Scrivs, the uber formerly known as Paul Scrivens, will not retain his figurehead position as CEO of the company and will be taking on a new position of upside down.
“We contemplated many types of exotic woods for our board — cedar, maple, pine — but in the end we had to go back to our roots,” said former CEO/President/Co-Founder/Video Superstar Mr. Paul Scrivens. “Looking back I am surprised that we didn’t make this move earlier since the partnership seems so obvious.”
Mike Rundle, formerly the Chief Design Officer, was demoted due to his inability to ensure the perfection of IE’s rendering of 9rules. Mike Rundle could not be reached for comment. Sources close to Mr. Rundle say that his marathon run of IE7 bug fixes have put him into a perpetual near-death experience involving Bill Gates and a monkey. His new position has yet to be decided and the company is still unsure if he will be allowed any interaction with the Universe.
Unlike existing businesses, the Universe has been dominating its field for billions of years. Whispers of a monopoly breakup were being heard around 2000 B.C., but they quickly disappeared and the Universe has been providing millions of stars for onlookers ever since.
9rules / Media Contact
Scrivs
Upside, Down
The Universe / Media Contact
Like We Know
Every, Thing
February 12th, 2007 at 2:42 pm
Hilarious. I actually first read: Aligns with Universal. Got my heart racing there. Love this!
February 12th, 2007 at 2:45 pm
Haha. Poor Mike.
February 12th, 2007 at 2:58 pm
Very funny, but you have a subject-verb disagreement in the second sentence: “There has also been some structural changes…”
(Feel free to delete this comment when you make the fix.)
February 12th, 2007 at 3:05 pm
Dave, I’m going to be honest with you. That is the problem with allowing the Universe’s PR team write the release. You would think they could get proper proofing done, but it seems they are just too busy for something so trivial.
February 12th, 2007 at 3:07 pm
I burst out laughing - and I thought this was going to be a serious post!
Upside down… lol.
February 12th, 2007 at 3:15 pm
I guess you can be funny some times. Remember the Universe is all about karma. I’m sure Mike has enough good built up from having to deal with you, that he should still be permitted to interact.
February 12th, 2007 at 3:26 pm
Trust me, upside down isn’t always a good position.
February 12th, 2007 at 3:30 pm
…and I didn’t envy Tyme’s last position. Tyme, Congratulations and Condolences!
February 12th, 2007 at 3:35 pm
You guys are simply awesome!
February 12th, 2007 at 3:49 pm
Thanks Tony.
Jerry: She thinks she is prepared for the new responsibility.
February 12th, 2007 at 3:58 pm
That just made my day. That was hilarious.
February 12th, 2007 at 4:07 pm
Seems a bit random, but funny nonetheless.
February 12th, 2007 at 4:10 pm
I laughed until I cried!!! Then I just cried…
February 12th, 2007 at 4:37 pm
If I hadn’t pledged 20 points to the “February Notes Music Contest” (FNMC; check it out, everyone), I would have sent all of ‘em to Mike who rules the universe in my eyes. That is some seriously cool work he’s doing here.
All you other guys/gal(s) are just corporate bigwigs with too much bling bling and too much time to write long convoluted press releases about monkeys (I think … let me read all of that again). >:)
Let’s hear it for Mike!
*runsawaytothatplacebehindthemy.9rulestabs*
February 12th, 2007 at 5:31 pm
As the Centre of the Universe, I highly welcome this change. ^_^
February 12th, 2007 at 5:35 pm
Potential new thingies?
Bill Gates and a monkey?
ROFL! You guys rule
February 12th, 2007 at 6:16 pm
Hahaha…now if every press release could be as serious as you guys, the universe would be a better place indeed.
February 12th, 2007 at 6:19 pm
Indeed - very funny. Now.. can I have my monkey back, please?
February 12th, 2007 at 6:56 pm
I am nodding in agreement about Bill Gate’s monkey situation. A long day made happier through the 9r blog…. life is better now time to sleep.
February 12th, 2007 at 8:42 pm
That was exactly what I needed today.
February 12th, 2007 at 8:45 pm
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February 13th, 2007 at 7:30 am
[...] 9rules Blog: The latest news, member announcements, and dance videos from the 9rules Team. Last week we launched Ali and that wasn’t the only change that happened within 9rules. There have also been some structural changes that we would like to announce. (tags: 9rules blogging network) [...]
February 13th, 2007 at 3:09 pm
Haha.
February 13th, 2007 at 4:51 pm
This is great news! I have also heard of a breakup in the Universe, but sadly it was swept under the rug.
This is just the kind of excellent, though provoking, and investigative research that is worthy of a pulitzer!
But thank goodness the threat is gone. whew! that was a close one!
February 14th, 2007 at 10:16 am
This is hilarious, a fun read!
Keep up the good work, everyone.